I have misophonia and my boyfriend's chewing crunchy stuff drives me nuts. I'm doing trigger management with ear plugs, white noise and music. But how should I go about doing CBT for my feelings about him? I love him very much, but feel I could lose that positive energy. 

What you’re describing is one of the hardest parts of misophonia: the trigger isn’t just a sound, it’s a person you love. CBT can’t make the chewing stop, but it can protect your relationship—and your sense of yourself—by working on what the sound comes to mean emotionally.

Start by separating the trigger from the person. Misophonia tends to fuse the two: chewing = disrespect, selfishness, danger, rejection. In CBT terms, this is a rapid, automatic interpretation, not a fact. A useful reframe is: “My nervous system is misfiring. This reaction is about my brain, not his character.” Repeating this during or after a trigger episode helps weaken the false association between sound and threat.

Next, work with your thoughts about the relationship, not the noise itself. Common misophonia-driven thoughts include: “If I’m this angry, something must be wrong with us,” or “If he really loved me, I wouldn’t feel this way.” CBT asks you to gently test these thoughts. What evidence supports them? What evidence contradicts them? You can love someone deeply and still have a neurological reaction that bypasses choice and intention. That doesn’t invalidate the relationship.

Then focus on emotion labeling instead of emotion judging. When you’re triggered, your mind may leap to shame or fear: “I’m a bad partner” or “This will ruin us.” CBT encourages you to say instead: “This is a surge of anger and panic caused by misophonia.” Naming the emotion reduces its intensity and keeps it from spilling into resentment.