Thomas W. Phelan PhD

When Ordinary Sounds Trigger Extraordinary Distress

by Thomas W. Phelan, PhD

About

Do certain sounds drive you crazy?

STOP THAT CHEWING! is a groundbreaking, practical guide for anyone whose life is disrupted by everyday sounds. When chewing, tapping, breathing, or clicking sparks instant anger, disgust, or panic, you are not “too sensitive”—you are experiencing misophonia. Drawing on psychology, neuroscience, and decades of clinical insight, this book explains why ordinary noises can feel unbearable and, more importantly, what you can do about it.

Blending compassion with clear strategy, Stop That Chewing! moves beyond theory into real-world solutions for adults, kids, couples, and families. You’ll learn how to understand triggers, calm the nervous system, and rebuild confidence in a noisy world—without blaming yourself or others.

Inside this family guide, you’ll discover:

• Why the second reaction often hurts more than the sound itself
• The role of disgust, competition, and brain wiring in misophonia
• Misophonia’s possible role in eating disorders
• Practical ABCD tools for triggers, thoughts, and emotions
• The powerful 5-Second Plan for real-time relief
• Family-friendly strategies to turn survival into thriving

Relief starts with understanding—and a new way forward.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part I: What Is Misophonia?

Chapter 1: The Sound & the Fury
Chapter 2: The 2nd Reaction: What Hurts More Than the Sound
Chapter 3: Misophonic Living: Surviving the Soundscape
Chapter 4: Patterns, Prevalence & Prognosis

Part II: Decoding Misophonia: Diagnosis & Causes

Chapter 5: Naming the Beast: Diagnosing 4S Syndrome
Chapter 6: Why Misophonia? Disgust & Competitive Eating
Chapter 7: When Sounds Kill Appetite: Misophonia’s Quiet Role in ARFID
Chapter 8: Getting Ready for Change: Acceptance, Permission & Games
Chapter 9: How to Talk About Misophonia

Part III: Surviving to Thriving: Management & Treatment

Chapter 10: Your Trigger Toolkit (A’s)
Chapter 11: Taming Misophonic Thoughts About Yourself (B’s)
Chapter 12: Don’t Shoot the Chewer: Managing Thoughts About Others (B’s)
Chapter 13: Managing Emotions: Relaxation & Exposure (C’s)
Chapter 14: Managing Emotions: Logic, Compassion & Medication (C’s)
Chapter 15: In the Heat of the Trigger: Your 5-Second Plan (D’s)
Chapter 16: Misophonia at Home: Practical Help for Kids & Parents

Part IV: Where To Go From Here

Chapter 17: Outsmarting the Noise
Chapter 18: High-Impact Mental Health Tactics
References

ISBN: 9798995697824

About

Thomas W. Phelan PhD

Thomas W. Phelan, PhD is a clinical psychologist, author, filmmaker, and educator best known for creating the internationally recognized parenting classic 1-2-3 Magic, which has sold over 2.5 million copies. His newest book, Stop That Chewing: Misophonia: When Ordinary Sounds Trigger Extraordinary Distress, marks a significant departure from his decades of work on child discipline and family dynamics.

Dr. Phelan brings a uniquely qualified...

Praise

Dr. Thomas Phelan’s new book, Stop That Chewing! Misophonia: When Ordinary Sounds Trigger Extraordinary Distress, is a timely and essential resource for understanding this unique diagnosis in both children and adults. With clarity, compassion, and honesty, he sheds light on this little-known but deeply impactful condition, offering hope and practical guidance for families and clinicians alike.

– Dr. Lindsay Frey, Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Owner, Finding Hope Wellness Center

I loved this book! Terrific job of dealing with a difficult subject. We’re recommending it to our patients.

– Karen Lynn Cassiday, PhD, ACT Managing Director, Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago

I read your new book, Stop That Chewing!, and really enjoyed it! If your intent was to create a Misophonia for Dummies kind of book, I would say you succeeded. You had an excellent balance of fun and fact, and I walked away with a much better understanding and appreciation of what misophonia is, and what it is like for people who have it. Turns out I have some triggers myself that I never recognized were part of that spectrum.

– Bryan Shepard, LCSW

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Blog

July 28, 2026

Nine-year-old Megan has just revealed strong negative misophonic symptoms to her father's chewing at the dinner table. How will Dad react?

Nine-year-old Megan’s sudden disclosure lands on her father with the force of a surprise he never saw coming. At first, he is puzzled—chewing? His chewing? He replays the last few meals in his mind, wondering what exactly she means. A moment later, confusion mixes with self-consciousness. He becomes aware of every bite he takes, every small sound he might make, as if a spotlight has been turned on his jaw. His first instinct is to minimize the problem—It’s just chewing, sweetheart—but he...

July 6, 2026

Don't Shoot the Chewer!

I have misophonia and my boyfriend's chewing crunchy stuff drives me nuts. I'm doing trigger management with ear plugs, white noise and music. But how should I go about doing CBT for my feelings about him? I love him very much, but feel I could lose that positive energy.

What you’re describing is one of the hardest parts of misophonia: the trigger isn’t just a sound, it’s a person you love. CBT can’t make the chewing stop, but it can protect your relationship—and your sense of yourself—by...

July 1, 2026

I feel embarrassed when I tell someone I hate the chewing sounds of other people...

Feeling silly or embarrassed about hating chewing sounds is incredibly common among people with misophonia—far more common than you think. The key thing to remember is this: your reaction isn’t a character flaw, a quirk of immaturity, or you being “dramatic.” It’s a real neurophysiological reflex, not a preference. You didn’t choose it, and you’re not doing anything wrong by acknowledging it.

When you tell someone about misophonia, you’re not confessing a weakness; you’re describing how your...

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Events

21

Sep

Upcoming Event

Stop Doing That! It's Driving Me Crazy! Misophonia in Marriage

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2458552/episodes/19792793

“Chewing sounds shouldn’t feel like a threat, but for many couples they do. We talk misophonia, the rage-and-panic loop, and how to handle dinner without blame. Listen now then tell us: what sound gets you?"

"What if your spouse’s “normal” breathing triggers instant fight-or-flight? Dr. Thomas Phelan explains misophonia and the simple accommodations that keep love from turning into resentment. Hit play and share your best fix?"

"The fastest...

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